“At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and never have been before.”
I was a member of one church my whole life. Home and that church are where I learned about the incredible, overwhelming love of the Divine and about a man who was of God and who was God, (say what?) who showed us what it was like to love like the Divine. (P.S. I am talking about that radical dude, Jesus.) Knowing that love, has literally saved my life (another story for another day), and knowing Jesus, has influenced my perspective on pretty much everything. I will always and forever be grateful for that church and the people in it.
― Warsan Shire
Fast forward to the present, almost mid-way through my 4th decade here, that church didn't fit anymore. I still loved the people, and God and Jesus, of course, buuuuuut, it stopped feeling like home. Now, that was an incredible bummer because all my BIG LIFE things happened there. I was dedicated as a baby and baptized as a tween there. My daddy walked me down that aisle so I could exchange vows with my husband. And we dedicated our two beautiful baby girls there. It was a tough decision to leave that space, but I wasn't leaving those memories or God behind. Thanks to that church (and my parents) I left knowing that God, She goes with me wherever I go.
So I have been on hiatus from regular church attendance for about half a year. I have visited a couple churches that my friends pastor, and also a local church that displayed its beliefs loud and proud outside. Loud and proud speaks right to my heart. And being a visitor in a place of worship is kinda scary and intimidating, but I am following nudges from God and finding a new home. I trust that I will get that loving feeling and think,
"Whadyaknow? This feels like home."
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